my wife & i had an awesome time at this conference led by mark driscoll at hill country bible church in austin, tx
i am just going to leave some quotes that stuck out to me and some questions that were important to us
If you have a young boy in your house & a computer that is not in your kitchen with a web nanny on it, you are destroying your child.
Sex is dirty, nasty, vile, & wrong … save it for marriage. Sound familiar?
Sex is either gross, god, or a gift in most people’s lives. The Bible says its a gift.
Is there any part of your marital intimacy that is gross or god?
Men ask: is there anything in my character that is not attractive?
Engedi is a place of refuge, a place where Solomon & his wife can get away & just be with each other.
Where is your ‘Engedi’?
There are two types of people in a marriage: servant & selfish.
Are you a servant or selfish?
Men are microwaves, women are crock-pots.
Little foxes can destroy an entire vineyard (marriage) just by nagging & chewing away at the vine until it is dead.
What are the little foxes in your vineyard right now?
Intimacy = ‘in to me see’ … ALL of me
What do you not know about your spouse?
1. the last day of marriage is more important than the first day of marriage
2. if you walk away from God, you’re capable of anything
3. lust & pornography allow a haven greater than solomon
4. the longer you wait, the worse it gets … be open & free
Men, tell your wife how you like her to smell.
You don’t need to search for happiness, you need to focus on holiness & happiness will take care of itself.
Sin happens.
1) conviction
2) confession
3) repentance (CHANGE)
4) restitution
5) reconciliation (can take a lot of time)
Today, there has even become DNA blame-shifting.
What sexual sin have you not confessed?
Where are you bitter?
What does forgiveness look like in your relationship?
Bitterness & not confessing are both demonic.
There are only two options: bitterness or forgiveness.
How are you (men) encouraging your wife’s freedom with your words?
The biggest take aways for me:
- Compliment (specifically & fervently)
- Make sure you are spending more than enough quality time with your spouse (from their perspective)
- Be open (transparent freedom)
Older married couples: what advice do you have for younger married couples?
Younger married couples: what reminders do you have for older married couples?
All: what advice do you have for singles?
ltlo
older couples:
-don’t assume that your spouse remembers the compliment you gave him/her 10 years ago … they probably forgot it 10 minutes after you said it, so say it again, and again, and again, and again
-men, pretend like you are taking your wife out on your first date again (& dress up how you did on your first date – hair-do & all) & treat her like you did on that first date & reminisce
singles:
-sex is one of the greatest gifts God has created … satan has really corrupted it in a number of ways … God is looking out for YOU when he says resist sexual sin & wait to partake in this wonderful gift until the given time (marriage)
-number 1 struggle i am dealing with in my marriage: lust because of my past sin
-it is not fair to my wife, but she loves Jesus just as much as i do, understands that He died for that sin thus i am forgiven, & helps me fight this ongoing battle every day
Number One and ALWAYS #1…… Put God First, then everything else seems to fall into place. I didnt early on in our marriage, like for the first 20 years, yeah He was around, but I was the man. Then came trials and tribulations, lots of them, and they got bigger by the year, by the way…. so did the blessings, as I released self, died to self, and let God in…completely! Thank you Lord for being so big and allowing me to still be loved by you the King of Kings even though I blew you off for so long…Im sorry. If I could do it all over again, what would be different?
1. Love God more, not daily,or monthly, or even hourly, it would be all day everyday.
2. To stay in His word, this would be daily, I would find time, because today i understand the importance and peace that I get from Him, and its alot better than “Dallas” re-runs that i have really never used in a conversation.
3. Listen to my wife more and with “ears to hear”, only having one ear, i was handicapped from the get go, however today i have LEARNED to listen, it goes a long way, is an art, and those who do it well, are a joy to talk with.
4.Take time to rest, I was a bullett, and could not rest. Good and bad came from this, I wish i had gone on more walks with my sons and my wife, slow ones. Go to cloudcroft and pick some apples, and dont get the rellenos in alamogordo, go to chope’s.
5.Stay in shape, i always seemed to be 10 pounds more than where i wa
nted to be, even better for me, was Rhonda always wanting to look good for me, what a blessing to me, i think this is why she did it, if not, i have been the beneficiary of it. Men are visual, when your wife still looks good after 30 years, your a blessed dude!
6. Have a hobby, and try to enjoy it, mine is golf, i dont always enjoy it, but am getting better, maybe i should switch to ?
7. Be a man! Your wife deserves it. Exercise your gift of self-control.
Thanks for your notes here, I was trying to remember the sermon where I heard Driscoll talk about “If you walk away from God you are capable of anything”. This helped me find it in the video here: http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess/his-garden
God bless!