Transparent Freedom

William Wilberforce lived in England in the late-1700s/early-1800s.  He began as “a late-night, party-loving, upper-class unbeliever who ran for Parliament on a lark when he was 21.  He ended up being the husband of one woman for 36 years, a joy-filled dad of 4 sons and 2 daughters, an author of a book called “A Practical View of Christianity,” and by God’s sustaining power he led his country in the abolition of the African slave trade and later slavery itself.

Martin Luther lived in the late-1400s/early-1500s.  “What he accomplished borders on the superhuman, and of course makes pygmies of us all,” says John Piper.

George Whitefield  ”was a phenomenon not just of his age, but in the entire 2000-year history of Christian preaching. There has been nothing like the combination of his preaching pace and geographic extent and auditory scope and attention-holding effect and converting power.” (J. Piper)

Whitefield:

“I’ll tell you a story. The Archbishop of Canterbury in the year 1675 was acquainted with Mr. Butterton the [actor]. One day the Archbishop . . . said to Butterton . . . ‘pray inform me Mr. Butterton, what is the reason you actors on stage can affect your congregations with speaking of things imaginary, as if they were real, while we in church speak of things real, which our congregations only receive as if they were imaginary?’ ‘Why my Lord,’ says Butterton, ‘the reason is very plain. We actors on stage speak of things imaginary, as if they were real and you in the pulpit speak of things real as if they were imaginary.’”

“Therefore,” added Whitefield, ‘I will bawl [shout loudly], I will not be a velvet-mouthed preacher.”

George Mueller lived almost the entire 19th century and cared for over 10,000 orphans without asking for financial support, just praying in millions of dollars to sustain the ministry–thereby showing off the glory of our awesome God.  From 1830 to 1898 he preached at least 10,000 times.  He was a missionary from age 70 to 87, traveling to 42 countries, addressing some 3 million people.

Charles Spurgeon’s collected sermons fill 63 volumes and stands as the largest set of books by a single author in the history of Christianity.

Each of these men had a great deal of suffering in their lives–physically, emotionally, familially.  Not one of them was sinless.  They were all transformed by God’s grace.  They were empowered by the Holy Spirit.  What we learn from them falls not so much in the arena of “imitation” as it does in “admiration.”  We ought not try to imitate all they did; we cannot.  We should study them and admire our great and merciful God who is able to do far more abundantly through human vessels than anyone would dare dream.

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Men, consider the investment plans you’ve made. 

Do you have a time planner?  A calendar to map out how you’re going to invest your time this year?  Your months, weeks, and days scheduled out.

Do you have a financial investment plan?  Short-term savings plan to cover 3-6 months of expenses, property taxes, and other major expenses you’ll face this coming year.  Long-term savings for retirement, college, and such. 

Do you have a personal growth plan?  Specific, measurable goals to develop spiritually, mentally, and physically.

We have lots of plans, and that’s good because the Bible has a lot to say about planning and stewarding what God’s given us with wisdom.

How about a plan for the most important human relationship in life, your marriage?  Have you mapped out a life-long vision for your marriage?  Do you have a clear mission statement?  Are you strategically investing in your marriage so that it reflects Christ and the church more accurately year after year?

If not, you need to sit down with your wife and start talking about this. 

Simply do this: define, by the principles of Scripture, what a Godly marriage looks like in your life.

Talk about the definition of marriage.  What success in marriage is.  What your roles and responsibilities in marriage are.  What you want the world to know about marriage by watching you.  And a little more specifically, what you need to commit to on an ongoing basis in order to live that out.

Then write up some notes from your conversations in the form of a plan that you can revisit.  My wife and I take a good look at our plan on an annual basis by getting away for a night or two on a little marriage retreat.  And, we discuss the plan informally (often without even pulling it out) on a weekly basis as we talk about how our marriage is doing.  There’s no magic formula or rigid process.  It’s just communicating clearly and constantly reminding ourselves that we’re on the same team, working toward the same goal, being empowered by the same Spirit.

In preparation for marriage we enjoyed a sermon series called, “From This Day Forward,” and heard about a marriage investment plan from Kyle McDaniel (“Cultivating Peace and Unity”).  Putting one together and living by it has been a great blessing to us.  I encourage you to do the same.

This Week’s Resource: Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers, Mark Driscoll

Next Week: Act Manfully: Learning From Our Brothers

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You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  (1 Peter 3:7)

STUDY HER

You can’t just read a book to find out how to live with your wife in an understanding way, you have to read your wife.  Does she like walks more than flowers, flowers more than candy?  You have to study her and learn about the unique person God has joined you to.  You should seek to know answers to questions like these:

1. What blesses her?

2. What energizes her?

3. What five things is she good at?

4. What three ways has she shaped you for the better (for which you can thank her)?

5. Where does she think she’s inadequate?

6. What’s weighing on her heart today?

MAKE INTENTIONAL EFFORTS BASED ON WHAT YOU LEARN

Living in an understanding way means not only discerning what your wife needs and what blesses her but then acting on it.  That means going into your week committed to do something with the answers to the previous quesitons and being discerning about opportunities that come your way.

1. Where can I weave into this week something that will bless my wife?  (Keep building a list on your mobile device (hints she drops, her sizes, etc.) and check that list regularly.)

2. How can I bring her encouragement in the areas she feels inadequate?

3. Where can I carve out time to pray about the things on my wife’s heart today?

(From A Guide to Biblical Manhood, Stinson & Dumas)…You should have a well-worn copy and a stack available for men who come by your home or office.

This Week’s Resource: George Mueller’s Strategy for Showing God, by J. Piper

Next Week: Act Manfully: Have a Marriage Investment Plan

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